I M Hunting 4 patience 2 step in my Life

Today when i was sitting i was wondering when was it the last time i laughed to my fullest. I tried to figure out as to what is that which is hurting me so badly. why is it that i am not able to find my ownself. This is not me. i was never like this. All sad and worn out. There was a time when i was filled in with wittiness. I could make not just myself but also people laugh with me. and i used to cherish those moments. we used to giggle around, have fun and even make fun of others. But it appears as if it has been years since i am thinking about.

is it that i have started taking myself so seriously or is that i have stated taking life so seriously. M not sure as to whether either of the cases is true and has taken away my liveliness from me.

in this sudden years of recession God has blessed me with a cherished job. I have a darling fiance who loves me truly and so do I. But still somewhere i m pained. I have even realised that.

things even worsened up past two days. I joined herein as a Management trainee and was with a department for two months wherein i was into shifts. They gave me an option of switching to other department to which i got agreed. For another 5 months i was in different department, the one with which i am still continuing with. The sad story being we were 6 wen we stepped in out of those they confirmed 3 and for 3 they extended it for further 4 months.
Saddest part being that i am the one who are extended. the worst part of the same being that it was because of a bad remark by sm1 that i didnot get confirmed. The higher authorities didnot consult my current senior officals and made the decision based on the one with whon i have worked for 14 morning days. I am hurt and pained.

The story went even more sad when my senoior most current official of my department said that he would be helping me in the same, but the official in lower position than him need proper confirmation as to whether i am meant for his department or not.
If yes, he would help me in different fashion and if no, then in different. His words to me were i should decide as to whether live in the organization or to resign from the organization.


I dont understand as to why he is behind me in leaving the organization. It just been 8 moths of my carrer life and i am facing all these stuff. My heart is pained. i did whatever was required and still i am hearing all these words.

I dont know what to do. How to go about the things. My brains are not working properly. The rest two are calm and quiet.

Should thios me my fashion too to proceed ahead?